At last, the motion picture epic about the superheroes combining their amazing powers to save the world was released today. We refer, of course, to the Facebook Roadshow Movie. Unlike The Avengers, which critics seem to love, Facebook’s half-hour pitch for potential investors hasn’t gotten great reviews. Is it so bad? Feel free to watch it yourself. If you don’t have time, we watched all 30 minutes and 59 seconds so you don’t have to.
Facebook Roadshow begins with a Star Wars-style text crawl to set the context. Only this crawl is lacking a triumphal John Williams fanfare, and rather than something like Episode IV: A New Hope, it begins with “This presentation contains forward-looking statements.” The Star Wars theme would have been cool, though—or maybe the Darth Vader Imperial March, depending on your views about online privacy.
The plot unfolds in five acts. Chief Financial Officer David Ebersman opens Act I (“Our Mission”) in an office lounge setting. Not a great start, production value-wise. This movie seems more airline preflight safety video than summer blockbuster.
And then the founder himself appears. Zuckerberg is wearing his usual attire—gray T-shirt, jeans. He’s sitting in a plain conference room with gray carpet and a gray sofa. It could be in any office in Corporate America, actually, which is the point: No brogramming tomfoolery here, folks. Practitioners of unimpeachable management are we.
The filmmakers go for an Errol Morris camera style: close-ups with extemporaneous (or extemporaneous-ish) talking by the subjects. This is Zuckerberg in an ideal laboratory setting, where there’s no chance he’ll go off on some tangent, or sweat profusely and reveal some secret patch sewn into a hoodie. As planetarium music undulates on the soundtrack, Zuckerberg talks about his inspiration for Facebook and creating a world where discovering stuff online doesn’t just mean search engines. He seems to be looking off to the side slightly, as if he’s reading a prompter, which damages the Errol Morris vibe. And yet, Zuckerberg still comes across as authentic, even sympathetic. You’ll root for him. By golly, this young man just might pull it off! SPOILER ALERT: He pulls it off.
The next character introduced is Chris Cox, Facebook’s vice president of product. He’s good. “Your life is an interesting story that a lot of people would be interested in,” he says. (“Especially the global advertising-marketing complex,” Cox did not add.) He and Zuckerberg back-and-forth about the appeal of sharing photographs with friends and families. Pictures of babies, proud parents, and babies with proud parents swoop around on screen.
About seven minutes in, Zuck and Cox get into Act III: “Platforms.” “What we mean by platform is fabric that makes any product social,” says Zuckerberg. Such as what products? Cut to friendly cow-pattern graphics and Ben & Jerry’s executives, one of whom talks in a vaguely foreign accent about having a “holistic relationship with our community.” Ice cream. Social. Ice cream social! I’ll have a Cherry Garcia cone and some Facebook shares, please.
Chief Operating Officer Sheryl Sandberg doesn’t appear until around halfway through Facebook Roadshow. As students of narrative will recognize, this is the “compelling value proposition” part of the story arc. Sandberg describes the power of friend recommendations as a driver of sales. Facebook, she says, is “word of mouth at scale.” Children and others unfamiliar with the PowerPoint dialect may hear that and think, Germs! Although some viewers, such as fund managers at T. Rowe Price, may leap out of their Aeron chairs and cheer.
Ebersman, the CFO, comes back on for Act IV: “Finance.” And again, this part, which to connoisseurs of Silicon Valley corporate speak will seem nothing short of a masterpiece, is meant for financially mature audiences. As for everyone else, a suggestion: Treat this stretch as a workplace coffee-drinking game. “… payments infrastructure …” Drink! “… competitive advantage …” Drink! “… mobile monetization …” Chug it!
The ending is flat, and a little puzzling. The CFO thanks viewers for their time and for the opportunity “to introduce Facebook.” This after the film notes that Facebook is closing in on a billion users. It’s like an instructional video on what to expect at McDonald’s. Seriously, is there anyone, particularly anyone who manages a large fund, who hasn’t made up their mind about this company and whether to buy the stock? Aha, a whiff of drama: There are skeptics out there who don’t think Facebook has quite proven itself as a can’t-miss way to hawk products. How does one know if one’s luxury car ad on Facebook leads to more sales? Facebook has faced such questions about returns on advertising investment of late.
The screen fades to black as the counter ticks down to 30:59 and … bonus footage! “Appendix.” On comes an executive from liquor maker Diageo, who talks about the awesome power of Facebook ads to get people to buy more product. Skeptics answered, plot resolved, the end.
Parents note: No mature language or gore. Graphic scenes of value propositions may induce strong investment urges.
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